Six Sentence Story: Remnant

Six Sentence Story: Remnant

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Six Sentence Story: Remnant

A Writing prompt by: GirlieOnTheEdge

In continuation of Last Week’s Six Sentence Story

Shay was ecstatic when the knock came; three short knocks, three long knocks, three short knocks, Rio’s ‘secret’ knock to say ‘the coast is clear, let me in.’ 

He had rushed from the other room, leapt over the couch, and was reaching for the lock when he heard Rio speaking; “Shay, don’t open the door Shay, It’s not me, they got me, don’t open the door.”

Shay stared at the door for several minutes, his hand still on the lock, as he listened to Rio repeat himself over and over, trying to protect Shay even in death; “Don’t open the door Shay, don’t even let me know you’re there, just hide, don’t open the door.”

They weren’t really dead, though Shay was sure they wished they were; the parasite disconnected their brains from their bodies, allowing them to see, to hear, and to speak, but they had no control over their bodies at all and could only watch in horror at the things they were forced to do against their will.

Shay backed away from the door as he felt the panic set upon him, felt his breaths come in short bursts, the burning tears forming in his eyes; he fled to his room, locked the door, and curled into a ball in a corner of his closet before he allowed the sobbing to begin.

At least one good thing came from this; it was now confirmed that the Remnant parasite could access the host’s memories – but then, maybe that wasn’t a good thing either.

This is my contribution to the Six Sentence Story prompt from GirlieOnTheEdge. The word this week was: Remnant.

I have been toying with ideas on unique names for what to call… them… and this weeks prompt was a great choice.

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34 thoughts on “Six Sentence Story: Remnant

  1. This is a brilliant follow up Six to the 1st episode, Ollie. Kudos. Totally unexpected that it is a parasitic threat. It’s meancing and as creepy as heck knowing Rio is behind the door… but it’s not the real Rio.

    The line: “they had no control over their bodies at all and could only watch in horror at the things they were forced to do against their will.” is chilling!

    Cool that this week’s cue word gave rise to the name of the threat 😎

    Good one,

    1. Thank you! This makes me happy, seeing that you’re receiving exactly what I was trying to put out there… Creepiness and chilling spine tingles.
      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, Ford! Means a lot.

    1. This is often the case, things that are bad for the characters are good for the readers.
      Poor, poor characters. Their suffering entertains us.

    1. I’ll tell you the same thing I told Reena; You may regret wanting to know, mwahahahahaha!
      You know what they say; Curiosity creates motivation to make things worse for fictional characters…. or, at least, I think people say that?

      Thank you for reading, and taking the time to comment! It’s greatly appreciated!

  2. A parasite inside the head… disconnecting brains from bodies… Real shiver-down-the-spine stuff, Ollie. Makes me think of the ear-bug thing from Star Trek! .. ugh.

    Looking forward to Friday’s short story 🙂

    1. It’s always been one of my most terrifying thoughts and nightmares; being trapped in my own head while my body continues on without me.
      Thank you 😁

    1. Heheh, I’m glad to hear. Stick around because the Sixes have inspired a short story for which the first part will be released Friday 

  3. Nicely amp-up creeposity*

    Being a proponent of the serial story genre** I not only enjoyed this installment, but, as is my way, I look to see how you achieve the effect you do, in this fictional sprint… (I read, not to dissect your Six but to learn from it…. lol)

    Good Six, yo

    * not a ‘real’ word
    ** which sounds way better’n ‘serial junkie’

    1. *no words were real before someone was brave enough to create them. 😉

      Thank you very much for your comment!

    1. Thanks you ♥
      Stick around because the last 2 Six Sentence Stories have inspired a short story. Part 1 will be public on Friday 😁

      1. Cool! I’m quite busy lately… If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you’d share a link on one of my posts to it. I’d hate to miss it. 😊

  4. The remnant parasite accessing the host’s memories and then being a parasite, what happens to those memories? Are they just destroyed or can they spread in some mutated form? Either way, sounds like something to avoid at all costs. This SSS could be the source of nightmares. Scary thoughts.

    1. It is the product of my nightmares, indeed.
      I’m working on deeper details about the parasite, but they seem able to access the hosts memories but can’t control the minds.
      The human mind is a complex thing 😁

  5. Oh, man. I’d reconciled that Rio was dead! This is way worse! Great opener leading us to believe Rio was alive but talk about an emotional rollercoaster downhill fast. Nice decent into the horror of the story. Very gripping, Ollie.

    1. Thank you! It means a lot that you took the time to read this, and leave your thoughts!

      What I was aiming for: “Oh yay! Hope! Rio retur- OMG NO! That’s not the hope I was expecting! I wish Rio never came back!”

  6. Ooh, that gave me the chills! So well written, with the tension mounting. Poor Rio, still trying to protect his friend – powerful. I’m a bit scared to say I’m waiting to see what happens next, after what you said above! Fabulous story.

    1. *insert Dr. Evil with pinky to chin emoji* Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe the price of the cure was just too high to save humanity.

    1. Idk if others noticed, but you’re the first to mention the SOS thing 😁
      Literally the only Morse code I know by heart. I thought it would be amusing/ironic to use it to signal ‘the coast is clear’
      Thank you for reading!

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